Nick Pettazzoni bio photo

Nick Pettazzoni

I liek chocolate milk.

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Get Ready For A Lot More Like This
It's my new blag, so check it out or whatever.

When I started doing this, I thought the point was to give the internet at large some vastly unique, indescribably earth-shattering content that would draw you all in for some reason, much like Christopher Walken reading Goodnight Moon, begging all you children to scooch closer. So every time I opened up my trusty markdown editor to begin writing a post that would inevitably change the very fundamentals of how each of you perceive the world around you, I came up blank. I have at least six files in my posts directory that are published: false with nothing but an ASCII art dick here and a few of these guys there:


You know I’m being honest about this, because I knew the exact sequence of character escapes to make that show up properly.

But now, even only a few years older, I have noticed that whatever organ or structure inside me that produces the fucks for me to give about things has significantly decreased its output capacity. Of course, I still regularly notice myself giving multiple fucks about some things, a bunch of shits about others, and even on occasion a hairy rat’s ass, though all at a much reduced rate. Based on my predictions and models beginning with my time in high school, giving literally every single fuck about every single thing, to now, I am on target to meet projections to becoming that old man who straight up does not have a single fuck left to give. And that is a day that I look forward to.

What the hell does that mean, and why am I posting it on the internet and wasting your time with it? Why, this perfectly illustrates my point. This blag is no longer about pleasing you people and trying to change the world by making it onto Hacker News (or, more realistically, r/shittyprogramming); it’s about me enjoying the fact that I can write shit down, occasionally to organize my thoughts, or help me mentally solidify some cool new thing that I just learned by explaining it to no one in particular, or just to make some crappy jokes and laugh at the nerds who took the time to read it.

So, welcome to the new blag-o-blag, and enjoy your stay. Or don’t. I don’t really give a shit. (It’s working!)

BTW In my efforts to make sure I got the “idunnolol” guy right above, Google directed me to the most vital of articles I have ever seen, from the highly respected news magazine, The Atlantic: The Best Way to Type ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. The internet is a super goddamned goofy place.